It's a gift that you can have some friends for more than 6 years----not from the kingdergarden time when we r not totally aware of what's happenning----but from middle school when we have already held a certain conscious about the world.But it's hard to tell whether it is a good thing to have those friends around you all the time.Sometimes they can be really big obstacles when you want to change yourself or behave in a different way,not usually "my way".
I admit that i should hold a grateful heart towards my high school----where i was taught to be a morally right person and was given a lot of chances to develop myself. After all it is the place and consequence that made me what i am now. But it doesn't mean i have to tie myself to it,hang out with those friends all the time.Sometimes i am afraid of them,or maybe afraid of myself being watched by them.Because in a way, i am not a traditional Chinese girl anymore,and somehow i don't want to behave in that way anymore.
I feel like i am in a contradiction,a dillema.The experience and education i have been recieved made me not only a native Chinese girl,but i am not sure if i am already fully capable to be called "multi-culture". However, sometimes,my sense has already been running ahead my ration so far away, that i don't really have time to cool off and think it over.I don't know whether it is right, or if there is something totally right ever existing.
God I don't know what I am talking about now,...